Family Traditions

One of my family's favorite parts of attending church each week is a tradition called "Joys and Concerns". In this moment, people are invited to the front of the sanctuary to light a candle of joy or concern, and briefly share some words with the community. In these moments, we feel connected to each other as we hear about love and loss, the trials and tribulations of life, and the everyday moments which make life what it is.

Some years ago, we took that tradition home. Every now and again, we will sit down as a family, around a small tray of candles. I will light the large pillar in the center, and there are smaller tea-lights around the tray. After a brief moment of silence, we take turns lighting a candle, and sharing with each other the things we are feeling really good about, and the things that we are worrying about as well. We have this great opportunity to really be able to share how we are feeling, and each person has the chance to be genuinely heard. That is not always the case during our day to day activities. My kids have shared some feelings that I wonder if I would have been able to key into had we not shared that time together.

Lighting our own candles of "Joys and Concerns" as a family, allows us to reconnect and take the needed step back to pause. There is something peaceful about sitting quietly, staring at the flickering flames of the candles, and being in the company of loved ones, that truly is spiritual.

"Learning how to become emotionally literate is one of the best investments that human beings can make for themselves, their children, and the future."
~ Ayman Sawaf

Children are Watching

I don't know why, but I have had the unfortunate opportunity to witness several acts of road rage recently, with my children in the back seat. In one instance, the young driver in the car next to us exited his vehicle at a stop light and screamed at the elderly driver in front of him, "I'm going to beat you old man!"
I could not believe that someone could get so worked up about being caught behind someone doing the speed limit. Yet, here I was, getting equally worked up about this sickening public display. I rolled down my window and asked the man to please get back in his car. There were children watching him.

Raising kids to be peaceful is a challenge in its own right. They are witnessing everyday examples of adults and leaders resolving conflicts using less than peaceful measures. In that moment, I could have joined the madness and started to rant and rave. What good would have come from that? What good could possibly come from this man threatening another?

When you are stuck in seemingly endless traffic, or that person forgot to use their directional to switch into your lane, or you are stuck behind the guy driving 5 miles below the speed limit, I urge you to take a a deep breath. The traffic will end, you will get where you need to be, and the other drivers around you are most likely not conspiring to cut you off or drive you crazy. The children are watching your responses. Your children, and the children in the cars driving by you or stopped at a red light. They are watching your very move and learning how to be adults. Let's help them to learn to be the peaceful variety.

Finding Calm in the Midst of Chaos

I was at a meeting with some colleagues yesterday when the reality hit me. We hadn't seen each other in some months and started our meeting by "checking in" with each other. As I finished talking about dealing with the aftermath of the recent Mont Vernon tragedy, visiting the possibility of saying goodbye to the job I have grown to love, and accepting the addition of my husband's 14 year old son into our home, one of my colleagues really summed it up for me. "Wow. Everything you know to be stable and true is being threatened right now. Everything is up and the air and you have no idea what tomorrow will bring. How scary!" Hmm....you might be on to something?!

I am by no means the princess of peace. I study it, promote it, and write about it, but living peacefully remains a work in progress for me. I still am unable to meditate or silence my mind for any real length of time. My competitive nature does me no favors in yoga class when I end up hurting myself by trying to hold the poses longer than the rest of the class. So no, I am not a meditating yogi. I am an over extended mom trying her hardest to tread water in this sea of chaos.

The truth of the matter is that no matter how crazy life gets, I have found ways to return to that feeling of peace. Every now and then I have to put my foot on the breaks, step back, and remember to live for a minute. Last week, my daughters and I took a day together to visit our favorite msueum, the Mariposa Multicultural Museusm in Peterborough, NH. This is a place that always leaves us feeling peacful, hopeful, and inspired. The gorgeous scenic drive through the NH foliage didn't hurt either.

I know that my life will always breathe chaos. My datebook will always be filled, my phone will keep ringing, and my inbox will always be full. I know this. But I also know that from time to time, I need to return to peace. It may be momentarily, it may be for the day, or in some cases even the weekend! However brief my peaceful experience may be, I know it the only way I will be able to continue to keep my head above water and get through the next challenges and obtacles that will inevitably come my way.

Where can I order this book? Click below...

Book Details

Local author promotes peace in the classroom

Friday, October 9, 2009

BEDFORD – In today’s fast-paced world, children are busy nearly every second of every day with school, sports and extracurricular activities.

As an overbooked society, children don’t understand that it’s OK to take a step back and explore what the world has to offer.

Bedford author Kimberly Paquette incorporated her experience studying and working with Montessori schools in developing her first book titled Pathways to Peace.
“I think that teaching kids how to resolve conflict peacefully and how to be respectful is perhaps more important than the academic piece (of an education),” said Paquette, who is the current director of the Montessori Children’s Center of Concord.

The Montessori approach is to allow children to learn on their own while being guided by a teacher. Through this method, teachers don’t correct or grade work, they instead assess what the child has learned and guide them into a new area of discovery.

Paquette received her undergraduate degree in business administration from the University of Phoenix in 2005 and after enrolling her daughter into a Montessori school she headed back to further her own education.

Enrolling in an independent study master’s degree program through Lesley University in Cambridge, Mass., Paquette received her degree in Montessori school business administration with a concentration in peace education in 2008.

Her thesis was a peace education curriculum entitled: Pathways to Peace, Lessons to Inspire Peace in the 3-6 Classroom.

On Sept. 9, two years after deciding she wanted to turn her thesis into a book containing lessons and information about the academic theory, Pathways to Peace was published .
Paquette uses the lessons from her book with students at the Montessori Children’s Center of Concord.

Friday afternoons are dedicated to peace education, which she teaches. Last week she introduced students to the symbol of peace: a white dove. “I took out a glass dove from a very special box and told (the children) that only the most gentle and peaceful hands could hold the peace dove,” she said. As the dove was passed around the circle, Paquette said the students treated the glass figurine as if it were a live bird. She took time to explain the meaning behind the symbol to students.

“We talked about the peace symbol.. and how whether your in California or Afghanistan, you can show a peace symbol and (the people) will know what you’re talking about,” she said.
Pathways to Peace contains several other lessons for use in schools, church programs, summer camps and at home, among other places.

Paquette is thinking about developing a similar book for elementary-age students and is considering the possibility of writing a parent’s guide and a children’s book.
“I think that teaching children to be peaceful is the best way to help our future generations and our society,” she said.

Additional information can be found on her Web site at www.kimberlypaquette.com.

For anyone interested in purchasing the book, it is currently located online at www.iuniverse.com, www.barnesandnoble.com and www. amazon.com.

Pathways to Peace
Lessons to Inspire Peace in the Early Childhood Classroom

Educator and author, Kimberly Paquette, is inspiring educators and parents to teach peace through her new book, Pathways to Peace. In today’s fast-paced, technology-rich world, children and families are operating at breakneck speeds. However, without slowing down and showing children what the world has to offer, children will not know the beauty the world holds, that which is worth protecting, nor will they be inclined to see the beauty and spirit of those around them. Peace education, when presented in a well thought-out manner, can inspire children to be the future peacemakers of our world.

Combining Gardner’s Multiple Intelligence Theory and Montessori education, Pathways to Peace promotes peace and its practice in the classroom. Geared for three- to six- year old students, this guide includes both theory and a curriculum where teachers can incorporate peace in all aspects of the classroom. The guide encompasses lessons for each of the multiple intelligences and can be adapted for use in schools, religious education programs, after-school programs, summer camps, and home.

Paquette serves as the Director of the Montessori Children’s Center in Concord. She is available for staff training, workshops, and lectures. The book is available now through iUniverse. Paquette resides in Bedford, NH with her husband and their two daughters.